Why is it so different when you're a kid? You are constantly being told to grow up and make plans for the future. In highschool, it's constantly "you need to do this for college..." or "this is how you need to spend your time, in order to have a good future." There's nothing wrong with preparedness but think back to those long summer days when you'd spend your time playing with a friend and drawing on the side walk with chalk, remember how nieve you were? Remember the ease of everything? It was all so natural. There was no pressure.
I used to think everyone would just be there, day in and day out. However, I've begun to understand the frailty that happens throughout the course of a life. There's no living forever and no magic that can heal someone. You go for so long thinking that you have time to get to know someone or that something can wait. I used to spend all my time living for the future. When I was small, all I could think of was being a grown up, or being tall enough that my feet touch the floor (sometimes that still doesn't happen...) but now I find myself dwelling more in the past. I long to see my grandmother one more time. I wish I could see my grandfather sitting in his chair eating gumdrops. I think about all the times that I could have appreciated my family more and I wish I could go back and do that. In a way, I think we all have regret when we think of the past and I don't mean over mistakes, I mean not spending time with a loved one.
As I collect years; I collect experiences, love, friends, and perspective. Although there are things I regret, miss, and grieve for, I know that it has made me a stronger and better person. I know the perspective I've gained will help me live for the future and understand it for that matter. I love life and I love not knowing what comes next and I love the memories that I've made in my past. I only hope that the generations to come can look foreward and say "That's where I came from and this is where I'm going" and when they say it, they have a big beautiful world infront of them, like I do.
Remember don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
-Laura
